The Devil's Share
By The Marquis De Rothelin.
_Of one of his marshals who married the sweetest and most lovable woman
there was in all Germany. Whether what I tell you is true--for I do
not swear to it that I may not be considered a liar--you will see more
plainly below._
Whilst we are waiting tor some one to come forward and tell us a good
story, I will relate a little one which will not detain
quite true, and happened lately.
I had a marshal, who had served me long and faithfully, and who
determined to get a wife, and was married to the most ill-tempered woman
in all the country; and when he found that neither by good means or bad
could he cure her of her evil temper, he left her, and would not live
with her, but avoided her as he would a tempest, for if he knew she was
in any place he would go in the contrary direction. When she saw that
he avoided her, and that he gave her no opportunity of displaying her
temper, she went in search of him, and followed him, crying God knows
what, whilst he held his tongue and pursued his road, and this only
made her worse and she bestowed more curses and maledictions on her poor
husband than a devil would on a damned soul.
One day she, finding that her husband did not reply a word to anything
she said, followed him through the street, crying as loud as she could
before all the people;
"Come here, traitor! speak to me. I belong to you. I belong to you!"
And my marshal replied each time; "I give my share to the devil! I give
my share to the devil."
Thus they went all through the town of Lille, she crying all the while
"I belong to you," and the other replying "I give my share to the
devil."
Soon afterwards, so God willed, this good woman died, and my marshal was
asked if he were much grieved at the loss of his wife, and he replied
that never had such a piece of luck occurred to him, and if God had
promised him anything he might wish, he would have wished for his wife's
death; "for she," he said, "was so wicked and malicious that if I knew
she were in paradise I would not go there, for there could be no peace
in any place where she was. But I am sure that she is in hell, for never
did any created thing more resemble a devil than she did." Then they
said to him;
"Really you ought to marry again. You should look out for some good,
quiet, honest woman."
"Marry?" said he. "I would rather go and hang myself on a gibbet than
again run the danger of finding such a hell as I have--thank God--now
escaped from."
Thus he lived, and still lives--but I know not what he will be.
*****
More
-
Forced Willingly
By Philippe De Saint-Yon. _Of a girl who complained of being forced by a young man, whereas she herself had helped him to find that which he sought;--and of the judgment which was given thereon._ The incident on which I found my story happene... From Belly To Back
By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of a gentleman of Burgundy who paid a chambermaid ten crowns to sleep with her, but before he left her room, had his ten crowns back, and made her carry him on her shoulders through the host's chamber. And in passing ... Good Measure! [80]
By Michault De Changy. _Of a young German girl, aged fifteen or sixteen or thereabouts who was married to a gentle gallant, and who complained that her husband had too small an organ for her liking, because she had seen a young ass of only six mo... Half-booted
By Monseigneur De Fiennes. _Of a Count who would ravish by force a fair, young girl who was one of his subjects, and how she escaped from him by means of his leggings, and how he overlooked her conduct and helped her to a husband, as is hereafter... How A Good Wife Went On A Pilgrimage
By Messire Timoleon Vignier. _Of a good wife who pretended to her husband that she was going on a pilgrimage, in order to find opportunity to be with her lover the parish-clerk--with whom her husband found her; and of what he said and did when he... How The Nun Paid For The Pears
By Monseigneur De Thianges (*). _Of a Jacobin and a nun, who went secretly to an orchard to enjoy pleasant pastime under a pear-tree; in which tree was hidden one who knew of the assignation, and who spoiled their sport for that time, as you will... Indiscretion Reproved, But Not Punished
By The Provost Of Wastennes. _Of a woman who heard her husband say that an innkeeper at Mont St. Michel was excellent at copulating, so went there, hoping to try for herself, but her husband took means to prevent it, at which she was much displea... Love In Arms
By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of a knight who made his wife wear a hauberk whenever he would do you know what; and of a clerk who taught her another method which she almost told her husband, but turned it off suddenly._ A noble knight of Hayna... Montbleru; Or The Thief
By G. De Montbleru. _Of one named Montbleru, who at a fair at Antwerp stole from his companions their shirts and handkerchiefs, which they had given to the servant-maid of their hostess to be washed; and how afterwards they pardoned the thief, an... Mr Chung
The first time I ever met poor Chung was at one of Mrs. Bouverie Barton's Thursday evening receptions in Eaton Place. Of course you know Mrs. Bouverie Barton, the cleverest literary hostess at this moment living in London. Herself a well-known nov... My New Years Eve Among The Mummies
I have been a wanderer and a vagabond on the face of the earth for a good many years now, and I have certainly had some odd adventures in my time; but I can assure you, I never spent twenty-four queerer hours than those which I passed some twelve ... Nailed! [85]
By Monseigneur De Santilly. _Of a goldsmith, married to a fair, kind, and gracious lady, and very amorous withal of a cure, her neighbour, with whom her husband found her in bed, they being betrayed by one of the goldsmith's servants, who was jea... Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention
By Monseigneur De Commensuram. _Of a gentleman of Picardy who was enamoured of the wife of a knight his neighbour; and how he obtained the lady's favours and was nearly caught with her, and with great difficulty made his escape, as you will hear ... On The Blind Side
By Monseigneur Le Duc. _Of a knight of Picardy who went to Prussia, and, meanwhile his lady took a lover, and was in bed with him when her husband returned; and how by a cunning trick she got her lover out of the room without the knight being awa... Our Scientific Observations On A Ghost
"Then nothing would convince you of the existence of ghosts, Harry," I said, "except seeing one." "Not even seeing one, my dear Jim," said Harry. "Nothing on earth would make me believe in them, unless I were turned into a ghost myself." So s... Ram Das Of Cawnpore
We Germans do not spare trouble where literary or scientific work is on hand: and so when I was appointed by the University of Breslau to the travelling scholarship in the Neo-Sanskritic languages, I made up my mind at once to spend the next five ... Scorn For Scorn
By Monseigneur. _Of two comrades who wished to make their mistresses better inclined towards them, and so indulged in debauchery, and said, that as after that their mistresses still scorned them, that they too must have played at the same game--a... The Abbess Cured [21]
By Philippe De Laon. _Of an abbess who was ill for want of--you know what--but would not have it done, fearing to be reproached by her nuns, but they all agreed to do the same and most willingly did so._ In Normandy there is a fair nunnery, t... The Armed Cuckold
By Monseigneur _The fourth tale is of a Scotch archer who was in love with a fair and gentle dame, the wife of a mercer, who, by her husband's orders appointed a day for the said Scot to visit her, who came and treated her as he wished, the said ... The Backslider
There was much stir and commotion on the night of Thursday, January the 14th, 1874, in the Gideonite Apostolic Church, number 47, Walworth Lane, Peckham, S.E. Anybody could see at a glance that some important business was under consideration; for ... The Bagpipe
By Monseigneur De Thalemas. _Of a hare-brained half-mad fellow who ran a great risk of being put to death by being hanged on a gibbet in order to injure and annoy the Bailly, justices, and other notables of the city of Troyes in Champagne by whom... The Bird In The Cage
By Jehan Lambin. _Of a cure who was in love with the wife of one of his parishioners, with whom the said cure was found by the husband of the woman, the neighbours having given him warning--and how the cure escaped, as you will hear._ In the... The Butcher's Wife Who Played The Ghost In The Chimney
By Michault De Changy. _Of a Jacobin who left his mistress, a butcher's wife, for another woman who was younger and prettier, and how the said butcher's wife tried to enter his house by the chimney._ It happened formerly at Lille, that a famo... The Calf
By Monseigneur de la Roche _Of a Dutchman, who at all hours of the day and night ceased not to dally with his wife in love sports; and how it chanced that he laid her down, as they went through a wood, under a great tree in which was a labourer w... The Castrated Clerk
By Monseigneur L'amant De Brucelles. _How a lawyer's clerk in England deceived his master making him believe that he had no testicles, by which reason he had charge over his mistress both in the country and in the town, and enjoyed his pleasure._ ... The Chaste Lover
By Philippe De Laon. _Of a rich merchant of the city of Genoa, who married a fair damsel, who owing to the absence of her husband, sent for a wise clerk--a young, fit, and proper man--to help her to that of which she had need; and of the fast tha... The Chaste Mouth
By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of a woman who would not suffer herself to be kissed, though she willingly gave up all the rest of her body except the mouth, to her lover--and the reason that she gave for this._ A noble youth fell in love with a... The Child Of The Phalanstery
"Poor little thing," said my strong-minded friend compassionately. "Just look at her! Clubfooted. What a misery to herself and others! In a well-organized state of society, you know, such poor wee cripples as that would be quietly put out of their... The Child Of The Snow
By Philippe Vignier. _Of an English merchant whose wife had a child in his absence, and told him that it was his; and how he cleverly got rid of the child--for his wife having asserted that it was born of the snow, he declared it had been melted ... The Child With Two Fathers
By Caron. _Of a gentleman who seduced a young girl, and then went away and joined the army. And before his return she made the acquaintance of another, and pretended her child was by him. When the gentleman returned from the war he claimed the ch... The Clever Nun
By Monseigneur De La Roche _Of a nun whom a monk wished to deceive, and how he offered to shoo her his weapon that she might feel it, but brought with him a companion whom he put forward in his place, and of the answer she gave him._ In the fai... The Considerate Cuckold
By Monseigneur Le Duc. _Of a knight of Picardy, who lodged at an inn in the town of St. Omer, and fell in love with the hostess, with whom he was amusing himself--you know how--when her husband discovered them; and how he behaved--as you will sho... The Cow And The Calf
By Monseigneur _Of a gentleman to whom--the first night that he was married, and after he had but tried one stroke--his wife brought forth a child, and of the manner in which he took it,--and of the speech that he made to his companions when they... The Curate Of Churnside
Walter Dene, deacon, in his faultless Oxford clerical coat and broad felt hat, strolled along slowly, sunning himself as he went, after his wont, down the pretty central lane of West Churnside. It was just the idyllic village best suited to the ta... The Damsel Knight
By Monseigneur De Foquessoles. _Of the loves of a young gentleman and a damsel, who tested the loyalty of the gentleman in a marvellous and courteous manner, and slept three nights with him without his knowing that it was not a man,--as you will ... The Devil's Horn
By Monseigneur. _Of a noble knight of Germany, a great traveller in his time; who after he had made a certain voyage, took a vow to never make the sign of the Cross, owing to the firm faith and belief that he had in the holy sacrament of baptism-... The Devil's Share
By The Marquis De Rothelin. _Of one of his marshals who married the sweetest and most lovable woman there was in all Germany. Whether what I tell you is true--for I do not swear to it that I may not be considered a liar--you will see more plainly... The Drunkard In Paradise
By Monseigneur de Lannoy _The sixth story is of a drunkard, who would confess to the Prior of the Augustines at the Hague, and after his confession said that he was then in a holy state and would die; and believed that his head was cut off and th... The Duel With The Buckle-strap
By Philippe De Laon. _The fifth story relates two judgments of Lord Talbot. How a Frenchman was taken prisoner (though provided with a safe-conduct) by an Englishman, who said that buckle-straps were implements of war, and who was made to arm him... The Eel Pasties
By Monseigneur de la Roche _Of a knight of England, who, after he was married, wished his mignon to procure him some pretty girls, as he did before; which the mignon would not do, saying that one wife sufficed; but the said knight brought him bac... The Empress Of Andorra
All the troubles in Andorra arose from the fact that the town clerk had views of his own respecting the Holy Roman Empire. Of course everybody knows that for many centuries the Republic of Andorra, situated in an isolated valley among the Pyrene... The Exchange
By Monseigneur De Villiers. _Of a knight whose mistress married whilst he was on his travels, and on his return, by chance he came to her house, and she, in order that she might sleep with him, caused a young damsel, her chamber-maid, to go to be... The Fault Of The Almanac
By Poncelet. _Of a cure who forgot, either by negligence or ignorance, to inform his parishioners that Lent had come until Palm Sunday arrived, as you will hear--and of the manner in which he excused himself to his parishioners._ In a certai... The Foundering Of The Fortuna
I. I am going to spin you the yarn of the foundering of the Fortuna exactly as an old lake captain on a Huron steamer once span it for me by Great Manitoulin Island. It is a strange and a weird story; and if I can't give you the dialect in whic... The Gluttonous Monk
By Monseigneur De Vaurin. _Of a Carmelite monk who came to preach at a village and after his sermon, he went to dine with a lady, and how he stuffed out his gown, as you will hear._ It is the custom of all countries for religious mendicants--... The Husband As Doctor
By Philippe De Laon. _Of a young squire of Champagne who, when he married, had never mounted a Christian creature,--much to his wife's regret. And of the method her mother found to instruct him, and how the said squire suddenly wept at a great fe... The Husband In The Clothes-chest
By Monseigneur De Beauvoir. _Of a great lord of this kingdom and a married lady, who in order that she might be with her lover caused her husband to be shut in a clothes-chest by her waiting women, and kept him there all the night, whilst she pas... The Husband Pandar To His Own Wife
By Monseigneur _Of a knight of Burgundy, who was marvellously amorous of one of his wife's waiting women, and thinking to sleep with her, slept with his wife who was in the bed of the said tire-woman. And how he caused, by his order, another knig... The Husband Turned Confessor
By Jehan Martin. _Of a married gentleman who made many long voyages, during which time his good and virtuous wife made the acquaintance of three good fellows, as you will hear; and how she confessed her amours to her husband when he returned from... The Incapable Lover
By Messire Miohaut De Changy. _Of the meeting assigned to a great Prince of this kingdom by a damsel who was chamber-woman to the Queen; of the little feats of arms of the said Prince and of the neat replies made by the said damsel to the Queen c... The Jade Despoiled
By Messire Chrestien De Dygoigne. _Of a married man who found his wife with another man, and devised means to get from her her money, clothes, jewels, and all, down to her chemise, and then sent her away in that condition, as shall be afterwards ... The Lady Who Lost Her Hair
By Monseigneur. _Of a noble lord who was in love with a damsel who cared for another great lord, but tried to keep it secret; and of the agreement made between the two lovers concerning her, as you shall hereafter hear._ A noble knight who li... The Lawyer And The Bolting-mill
By Monseigneur Le Duc. _Of a President of Parliament, who fell in love with his chamber-maid, and would have forced her whilst she was sifting flour, but by fair speaking she dissuaded him, and made him shake the sieve whilst she went unto her mi... The Lawyer's Wife Who Passed The Line
By Monseigneur De Commesuram. _Of a clerk of whom his mistress was enamoured, and what he promised to do and did to her if she crossed a line which the said clerk had made. Seeing which, her little son told his father when he returned that he mus... The Lost Ass Found
By Michault De Changy. _Of a good man of Bourbonnais who went to seek the advice of a wise man of that place about an ass that he had lost, and how he believed that he miraculously recovered the said ass, as you will hear hereafter._ In the f... The Lost Ring
By Monseigneur De Commesuram. _Of two friends, one of whom left a diamond in the bed of his hostess, where the other found it, from which there arose a great discussion between them, which the husband of the said hostess settled in an effectual m... The Man Above And The Man Below
By Monsigneur De La Roche. _Of a married woman who gave rendezvous to two lovers, who came and visited her, and her husband came soon after, and of the words which passed between them, as you shall presently hear._ I knew in my time a brave a... The Married Priest
By Meriadech. _Of a village clerk who being at Rome and believing that his wife was dead became a priest, and was appointed cure of his own town, and when he returned, the first person he met was his wife._ In the year '50 (*) just passed, th... The Match-making Priest
By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of a village priest who found a husband for a girl with whom he was in love, and who had promised him that when she was married she would do whatever he wished, of which he reminded her on the wedding-day, and the hus... The Metamorphosis
By The Editor. _Relates how a Spanish Bishop, not being able to procure fish, ate two partridges on a Friday, and how he told his servants that he had converted them by his prayers into fish--as will more plainly be related below._ If you wi... The Monk-doctor
By Monseigneur _The second story, related by Duke Philip, is of a young girl who had piles, who put out the only eye he had of a Cordelier monk who was healing her, and of the lawsuit that followed thereon._ In the chief town of England, call... The Muddled Marriages
By The Archivist Of Brussels. _Of two men and two women who were waiting to be married at the first Mass in the early morning; and because the priest could not see well, he took the one for the other, and gave to each man the wrong wife, as you w... The Mysterious Occurrence In Piccadilly
I. I really never felt so profoundly ashamed of myself in my whole life as when my father-in-law, Professor W. Bryce Murray, of Oriel College, Oxford, sent me the last number of the Proceedings of the Society for the Investigation of Supernatur... The Obedient Wife
By The Editor. _ Of a man who was married to a woman so lascivious and lickerish, that I believe she must have been born in a stove or half a league from the summer sun, for no man, however well he might work, could satisfy her; and how her husba... The Obliging Brother
By Monsieur De Villiers. _Of a damsel who married a shepherd, and how the marriage was arranged, and what a gentleman, the brother of the damsel, said._ As you are all ready to listen to me, and no one comes forward at the present moment to c... The Obsequious Priest
By Philippe De Laon. _Of a priest of Boulogne who twice raised the body of Our Lord whilst chanting a Mass, because he believed that the Seneschal of Boulogne had come late to the Mass, and how he refused to take the Pax until the Seneschal had d... The Over-cunning Cure
By Michault De Changy. _Of a priest who would have played a joke upon a gelder named Trenche-couille, but, by the connivance of his host, was himself castrated._ There formerly lived in this country, in a place that I have a good reason for ... The Pope-maker, Or The Holy Man
By Monseigneur de Crequy _Of a hermit who deceived the daughter of a poor woman, making her believe that her daughter should have a son by him who should become Pope; and how, when she brought forth it was a girl, and thus was the trickery of the... The Real Fathers
By The Editor. _Of a woman who on her death-bed, in the absence of her husband, made over her children to those to whom they belonged, and how one of the youngest of the children informed his father._ There formerly lived in Paris, a woman wh... The Reverend John Creedy
I. "On Sunday next, the 14th inst., the Reverend John Creedy, B.A., of Magdalen College, Oxford, will preach in Walton Magna Church, on behalf of the Gold Coast Mission." Not a very startling announcement that, and yet, simple as it looks, it s... The Right Moment
By Mahiot D'auquesnes. _Of a damsel of Maubeuge who gave herself up to a waggoner, and refused many noble lovers; and of the reply that she made to a noble knight because he reproached her for this--as you will hear._ A noble knight of Flanders... The Scarlet Backside
By Pierre David. _Of one who saw his wife with a man to whom she gave the whole of her body, except her backside, which she left for her husband and he made her dress one day when his friends were present in a woollen gown on the backside of whic...