The Husband Pandar To His Own Wife

By Monseigneur

_Of a knight of Burgundy, who was marvellously amorous of one of his

wife's waiting women, and thinking to sleep with her, slept with his

wife who was in the bed of the said tire-woman. And how he caused, by

his order, another knight, his neighbour to sleep with the said woman,

believing that it was really the tirewoman--and afterwards he was not

well pleased, albeit that the lady knew noth
ng, and was not aware, I

believe, that she had had to do with aught other than her own husband._

In order to properly continue these stories, the incidents of which

happen in divers places and under various circumstances, there should

not be omitted the tale of a gentle knight of Burgundy, who lived in

a castle of his own that was fair and strong, and well provided with

retainers and artillery, as his condition required.

He fell in love with a fair damsel of his household, who was chief

tire-woman to his wife, and his great affection for her took such

hold upon him that he could not be happy without her, and was always

conversing with her and beseeching her, and, in short, life seemed no

good without her, so filled with love of her was he.

The girl, being chaste and prudent, wished to keep her honour, which she

valued as she did her own soul, and would not betray the duty she owed

to her mistress, and therefore she lent no ear to her master when he

importuned her. And whenever he spoke to her, God knows what a rebuff

he met, and how she remonstrated with him as to his boldness and

ill-conduct. Moreover, she told him that if he continued she would

inform her mistress.

But, in spite of her threats, he would not abandon the enterprise, but

pursued her more and more, so that at last the girl was forced to tell

her mistress.

The lady being informed of her lord's love affair, though she did not

show it, was not well pleased; but she devised a plan, which was this.

She charged the girl that the next time the knight solicited her, that

she should lay aside all reserve, and inform him that on the following

night she would expect him in her chamber and in her bed; "And if he

should accept the rendezvous," added the lady; "I will take your place;

and leave the rest to me."

The girl was pleased to obey her mistress, as was her duty, and promised

she would do as she was bid.

It was not long before my lord again returned to the charge, and prayed

her more warmly than before, saying that if she did not grant his

prayer, he would rather die than live longer in this hopeless passion.

What need is there of a long story? The girl, being thoroughly

well-instructed by her mistress, appointed an hour at which he should

come to her the next night, at which he was so well-pleased that his

heart leapt for joy, and he promised himself that he would not fail to

be there.

The desired day arrived, but in the evening, a gentle knight, a

neighbour of my lord and his great friend, came to see him, for whom my

lord made, as he well knew how, great cheer; as did my lady also, and

the rest of the household were not behind-hand, knowing that to be the

good pleasure of my lord and my lady.

After much feasting and a supper and a banquet, it was time to retire

to rest, and having said good-night to the lady and her women, the two

knights began to talk over various matters, and, amongst other

things, the visitor asked my lord if there were any pretty women with

shoulder-knots in the village, (*) for the weather being fine, and

having made good cheer, he had a desire for a woman.

(*) In some towns of the south of France, in the Middle

Ages, the courtesans used to wear a knot of coloured ribbon

on the shoulder.

My lord, on account of the great love he bore his friend, would hide

nothing from him, and told him how he had that night agreed to sleep

with the tire-woman; and that he might do his friend pleasure, when he

had been with her a certain time, he would, he said, rise gently, and go

away, and let the visitor do the rest.

The visitor thanked his host, and God knows that the hour seemed long in

coming. At last the host took leave of his guest, and went to his room,

as was his custom, to undress.

Now you must know that whilst the knights were talking, my lady went to

the bed in which my lord expected to find the tiring-maid, and there she

awaited whatever God might be pleased to send her.

My lord was a long time undressing, to give time to his wife to go to

sleep. He then dismissed his valet, and in his long dressing-gown went

to where his lady awaited him,--he thinking to find some-one else,--and

silently undressed and got into bed.

And as the candle was put out, and the lady uttered no word, he believed

he was with the woman. Hardly had he got into bed before he began to

perform his duty, and so well did he acquit himself, that three, even

four, times did not content him; whereat his wife felt great pleasure,

and thinking that that was all, fell asleep.

My lord, now much lighter than when he came, seeing that the lady slept,

and remembering his promise, rose quietly and went to his friend, who

was awaiting orders to go into action, and told him to take his place,

but that he must not speak a word, and must come away when he had done

all that he wished.

The other, as wide-awake as a rat, and straining at the leash like a

greyhound,--went, and lay down by the lady without her knowing of it.

And though he felt assured that my lord had already worked well, and

he was in haste, he did better, at which my lady was in no small degree

astonished, and after this amusement--which was not distasteful to

her--she again fell asleep.

Then the good knight left her, and returned to my lord, who again

resumed his place by my lady's side as before, and made a fresh attack

upon her--so well did the exercise please him.

Thus the hours passed,--either in sleeping or doing something

else,--until day broke; and as he turned round in bed, expecting

to behold the tire-woman, he saw and knew that it was his wife, who

thereupon said to him.

"Are you not a recreant, cowardly, and wicked whoremonger? You thought

to have had my tire-woman, and it is upon me that you have so many times

essayed your unbridled and measureless lust. Thank God you have been

deceived, for no one else shall ever have that which belongs to me."

The good knight was both astonished and angry, and no wonder. And when

he spoke at last, he said.

"My dear, I cannot hide from you my folly, and I greatly grieve ever to

have undertaken such an enterprise. I beg of you to be satisfied with

what you have done, and never mention it for never in all my life shall

it occur again. That I promise you on my honour; and that you may never

have occasion to be reminded of it, I will send away the woman who has

played this trick upon me."

The lady, who was more satisfied with this adventure than her woman, and

seeing how contrite her husband was, allowed herself to be gained-over,

but not without making some remonstrances and scoldings.

In the end, all was arranged satisfactorily, but the knight, who had a

flea in his ear, as soon as he rose, went to his companion, to whom

he related the adventure at full length, and demanded from him two

promises; the first was that he should strictly promise to say nothing

of the matter, and the second that he should never meet his wife again.

The other, who was much vexed at this unfortunate affair, comforted the

knight as best he could, and promised to perform his very reasonable

requests; then mounted his horse and rode off. The tire-woman, who was

not to blame for the _contretemps_, bore the punishment however, and was

sent away. The knight and the lady lived long together without her ever

being aware that she had had to do with a strange knight.