The Waggoner In The Bear

By Monseigneur

_Of a goldsmith of Paris who made a waggoner sleep with him and his

wife, and how the waggoner dallied with her from behind, which the

goldsmith perceived and discovered, and of the words which he spake to

the waggoner._

A goldsmith of Paris, once, in order to complete some of his wares in

time for the fair of Lendit, laid in a large stock of willow charcoal.
It happened one day amongst others, that the waggoner who delivered this

charcoal, knowing that the goldsmith was in great haste, brought two

waggons more than he had on any previous day, but hardly had he entered

Paris with the last load than the city gates were shut on his heels.

Nevertheless, he was well received by the goldsmith, and after the

charcoal was unloaded, and the horses stabled, they all supped at their

leisure, and made great cheer, and drank heavily. Just as the meal

finished the clock struck midnight, which astonished them greatly, so

quickly had the time passed at supper.

Each one thanked God, and being heavy-eyed, only asked to go to bed, but

as it was so late, the goldsmith detained the waggoner, fearing that he

might meet the watch, who would have put him into the Chatelet had they

found him at that hour of the night.

At that time the goldsmith had many persons working for him, and he was

obliged to make the waggoner lie with him and his wife, and, not

being of a suspicions nature, he made his wife lie between him and the


He had great trouble to arrange this, for the good waggoner refused his

hospitality, and would rather have slept in the barn or stable, but he

was obliged to obey the goldsmith. And after he had undressed, he got

into bed, in which already were the goldsmith and his wife, as I have

already said.

The wife feeling the waggoner approach her, moved nearer her husband,

both on account of the cold and the smallness of the bed, and, instead

of a pillow, placed her head upon her husband's breast, whilst her

backside rested on the waggoner's knees.

Our goldsmith soon went to sleep, and his wife pretended to also,

and the waggoner, being tired from his work, did the same. But as

the stallion grows hot as soon as he approaches the mare, so did this

stallion lift up his head on feeling so near to him the aforesaid woman.

It was not within the power of the waggoner to refrain from attacking

her closely; and this lasted for some time without the woman waking, or

at least pretending to wake. Nor would the husband have awaked, had it

not been that the head of his wife reclined on his breast, and owing to

the assault of this stallion, gave him such a bump that he quickly woke.

He thought at first that his wife was dreaming, but as her dream

continued, and he heard the waggoner moving about and breathing hard,

he gently put down his hand, and found what ravage the stallion of the

waggoner was making in his warren;--at which, as he loved his wife, he

was not well content. He soon made the waggoner with draw, and said to


"What are you doing, you wicked rascal? You must be mad to attack my

wife in that way. Don't do it again! Morbleu! I declare to you that if

she had woke just now when your machine was pushing her, I don't know

what she would have done; but I feel certain, as I know her well, that

she would have scratched your face, and torn out your eyes with her

nails. You don't know what she will do when she loses her temper, and

there is nothing in the world which puts her out more. Take it away, I

beg, for your own sake."

The waggoner, in a few words, declared that it was unintentional, and,

as day was breaking, he rose and took his leave and went away with his


You may fancy that the good woman on whom the waggoner made this attempt

was displeased in another way than her husband fancied; and afterwards

it was said that the waggoner met her in the proper way: but I would not

believe it or credit the report.