The Waggoner In The Bear

By Monseigneur

_Of a goldsmith of Paris who made a waggoner sleep with him and his
wife, and how the waggoner dallied with her from behind, which the
goldsmith perceived and discovered, and of the words which he spake to
the waggoner._

A goldsmith of Paris, once, in order to complete some of his wares in
time for the fair of Lendit, laid in a large stock of willow charcoal.
It happened one day amongst others, that the waggoner who delivered this
charcoal, knowing that the goldsmith was in great haste, brought two
waggons more than he had on any previous day, but hardly had he entered
Paris with the last load than the city gates were shut on his heels.
Nevertheless, he was well received by the goldsmith, and after the
charcoal was unloaded, and the horses stabled, they all supped at their
leisure, and made great cheer, and drank heavily. Just as the meal
finished the clock struck midnight, which astonished them greatly, so
quickly had the time passed at supper.

Each one thanked God, and being heavy-eyed, only asked to go to bed, but
as it was so late, the goldsmith detained the waggoner, fearing that he
might meet the watch, who would have put him into the Chatelet had they
found him at that hour of the night.

At that time the goldsmith had many persons working for him, and he was
obliged to make the waggoner lie with him and his wife, and, not
being of a suspicions nature, he made his wife lie between him and the
waggoner.

He had great trouble to arrange this, for the good waggoner refused his
hospitality, and would rather have slept in the barn or stable, but he
was obliged to obey the goldsmith. And after he had undressed, he got
into bed, in which already were the goldsmith and his wife, as I have
already said.

The wife feeling the waggoner approach her, moved nearer her husband,
both on account of the cold and the smallness of the bed, and, instead
of a pillow, placed her head upon her husband's breast, whilst her
backside rested on the waggoner's knees.

Our goldsmith soon went to sleep, and his wife pretended to also,
and the waggoner, being tired from his work, did the same. But as
the stallion grows hot as soon as he approaches the mare, so did this
stallion lift up his head on feeling so near to him the aforesaid woman.

It was not within the power of the waggoner to refrain from attacking
her closely; and this lasted for some time without the woman waking, or
at least pretending to wake. Nor would the husband have awaked, had it
not been that the head of his wife reclined on his breast, and owing to
the assault of this stallion, gave him such a bump that he quickly woke.

He thought at first that his wife was dreaming, but as her dream
continued, and he heard the waggoner moving about and breathing hard,
he gently put down his hand, and found what ravage the stallion of the
waggoner was making in his warren;--at which, as he loved his wife, he
was not well content. He soon made the waggoner with draw, and said to
him,

"What are you doing, you wicked rascal? You must be mad to attack my
wife in that way. Don't do it again! Morbleu! I declare to you that if
she had woke just now when your machine was pushing her, I don't know
what she would have done; but I feel certain, as I know her well, that
she would have scratched your face, and torn out your eyes with her
nails. You don't know what she will do when she loses her temper, and
there is nothing in the world which puts her out more. Take it away, I
beg, for your own sake."

The waggoner, in a few words, declared that it was unintentional, and,
as day was breaking, he rose and took his leave and went away with his
cart.

You may fancy that the good woman on whom the waggoner made this attempt
was displeased in another way than her husband fancied; and afterwards
it was said that the waggoner met her in the proper way: but I would not
believe it or credit the report.

*****

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The Waggoner In The Bear