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StoriesHow The Nun Paid For The PearsBy Monseigneur De Thianges (*). _Of a Jacobin and a nun, w... How A Good Wife Went On A Pilgrimage By Messire Timoleon Vignier. _Of a good wife who pretended... The Bagpipe By Monseigneur De Thalemas. _Of a hare-brained half-mad fe... The Use Of Dirty Water By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of a jealous man who recorded... The Pope-maker, Or The Holy Man By Monseigneur de Crequy _Of a hermit who deceived the dau... The Monk-doctor By Monseigneur _The second story, related by Duke Philip, ... Tit For Tat By Anthoine De La Sale. _Of a father who tried to kill his... The Husband Turned Confessor By Jehan Martin. _Of a married gentleman who made many lon... The Husband In The Clothes-chest By Monseigneur De Beauvoir. _Of a great lord of this kingd... The Husband As Doctor By Philippe De Laon. _Of a young squire of Champagne who, ... The Three Reminders By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of three counsels that a fath... Good Measure! [80] By Michault De Changy. _Of a young German girl, aged fifte... Cuckolded By Poncelet. _Of a merchant who locked up in a bin his wif... The Married Priest By Meriadech. _Of a village clerk who being at Rome and be... The Virtuous Lady With Two Husbands By Monseigneur. _Of a noble knight of Flanders, who was ma... The Exchange By Monseigneur De Villiers. _Of a knight whose mistress ma... The Cow And The Calf By Monseigneur _Of a gentleman to whom--the first night th... The Muddled Marriages By The Archivist Of Brussels. _Of two men and two women wh... The Chaste Lover By Philippe De Laon. _Of a rich merchant of the city of Ge... The Armed Cuckold By Monseigneur _The fourth tale is of a Scotch archer who ... |
How A Good Wife Went On A PilgrimageBy Messire Timoleon Vignier. _Of a good wife who pretended to her husband that she was going on a pilgrimage, in order to find opportunity to be with her lover the parish-clerk--with whom her husband found her; and of what he said and did when he saw them doing you know what._ Whilst I have a good audience, let me relate a funny incident which happened in the district of Hainault. In a village there, lived a married woman, who loved the parish clerk much more than she did her own husband, and in order to find means to be with the clerk, she feigned to her husband that she owed a pilgrimage to a certain saint, whose shrine was not far from there; which pilgrimage she had vowed to make when she was in travail with her last child, begging the saint that he would be content that she should go on a certain day she named. The good, simple husband, who suspected nothing, allowed her to go on this pilgrimage; and as he would have to remain alone he told her to prepare both his dinner and supper before she left, or else he would go and eat at the tavern. She did as he ordered, and prepared a nice chicken and a piece of mutton, and when all these preparations were complete, she told her husband that everything was now ready, and that she was going to get some holy water, and then leave. She went to church, and the first man she met was the one she sought, that is to say the clerk, to whom she told the news, that is to say how she had been permitted to go on a pilgrimage for the whole day. "And this is what will occur," she said. "I am sure that as soon as I am out of the house that he will go to the tavern, and not return until late in the evening, for I know him of old; and so I should prefer to remain in the house, whilst he is away, rather than go somewhere else. Therefore you had better come to our house in half an hour, and I will let you in by the back door, if my husband is not at home, and if he should be, we will set out on our pilgrimage." She went home, and there she found her husband, at which she was not best pleased. "What! are you still here?" he asked. "I am going to put on my shoes," she said, "and then I shall not be long before I start." She went to the shoemaker, and whilst she was having her shoes put on, her husband passed in front of the cobbler's house, with another man, a neighbour, with whom he often went to the tavern. She supposed that because he was accompanied by this neighbour that they were going to the tavern; whereas he had no intention of the kind, but was going to the market to find a comrade or two and bring them back to dine with him, since he had a good dinner to offer them--that is to say the chicken and the mutton. Let us leave the husband to find his comrades, and return to the woman who was having her shoes put on. As soon as that was completed, she returned home as quickly as she could, where she found the scholar wandering round the house, and said to him; "My dear, we are the happiest people in the world, for I have seen my husband go to the tavern, I am sure, for one of his neighbours was leading him by the arm, and I know is not likely to let my man come back, and therefore let us be joyful. We have the whole day, till night, to ourselves. I have prepared a chicken, and a good piece of mutton, and we will enjoy ourselves;" and without another word they entered the house, but left the door ajar in order that the neighbours should suspect nothing. Let us now return to the husband, who had found a couple of boon companions besides the one I have mentioned, and now brought them to his house to devour the chicken, and drink some good Beaune wine--or better, if they could get it. When he came to the house, he entered first, and immediately saw our two lovers, who were taking a sample of the good work they had to do. And when he saw his wife with her legs in the air, he told her that she need not have troubled to bother the cobbler about her shoes, since she was going to make the pilgrimage in that way. He called his companions, and said; "Good sirs, just see how my wife looks after my interests. For fear that she should wear out her new shoes, she is making the journey on her back:--no other woman would have done that." He picked up the remainder of the fowl, and told her that she might finish her pilgrimage; then closed the door and left her with her clerk, without saying another word, and went off to the tavern. He was not scolded when he came back, nor on the other occasions either that he went there, because he had said little or nothing concerning the pilgrimage which his wife had made at home with her lover, the parish clerk. ***** Next: Difficult To Please Previous: Women's Quarrels
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