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StoriesThe Muddled Marriages
By The Archivist Of Brussels. _Of two men and two women wh...
Tit For Tat
By Monseigneur de la Roche _Of a youth of Picardy who live...
The Sleeveless Robe
By Alardin. _Of a gentleman of Flanders, who went to resid...
The Woman At The Bath
By Philippe De Laon. _Of an inn-keeper at Saint Omer who p...
The Incapable Lover
By Messire Miohaut De Changy. _Of the meeting assigned to ...
Love In Arms
By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of a knight who made his wife...
The Obliging Brother
By Monsieur De Villiers. _Of a damsel who married a shephe...
On The Blind Side
By Monseigneur Le Duc. _Of a knight of Picardy who went to...
The Married Priest
By Meriadech. _Of a village clerk who being at Rome and be...
The Three Reminders
By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of three counsels that a fath...
The Sore Finger Cured
By Philippe De Laon. _Of a monk who feigned to be very ill...
The Devil's Horn
By Monseigneur. _Of a noble knight of Germany, a great tra...
The Lost Ass Found
By Michault De Changy. _Of a good man of Bourbonnais who w...
There was much stir and commotion on the night of Thursday,...
The Use Of Dirty Water
By Monseigneur De La Roche. _Of a jealous man who recorded...
A Great Chemical Discovery
Walking along the Strand one evening last year towards Pall...
The Mysterious Occurrence In Piccadilly
I. I really never felt so profoundly ashamed of myself i...
The Obsequious Priest
By Philippe De Laon. _Of a priest of Boulogne who twice ra...
The Scarlet Backside
By Pierre David. _Of one who saw his wife with a man to wh...
The Senior Proctor's Wooing:
A TALE OF TWO CONTINENTS. I. I was positively blinded...
By Monseigneur Philippe Vignier.
_Of a young man of Rouen, married to a fair, young girl of the age of
fifteen or thereabouts; and how the mother of the girl wished to have
the marriage annulled by the Judge of Rouen, and of the sentence which
the said Judge pronounced when he had heard the parties--as you will
hear more plainly in the course of the said story._
In the good town of Rouen, not long ago, a young man was married to a
fair and tender virgin, aged fifteen, or thereabouts. On the day of the
great feast--that is to say, the wedding--the mother of the young girl,
as is customary in such cases, instructed the bride in all the mysteries
of wedlock, and taught her how to behave to her husband on the first
The young girl, who was looking forward to the time when she could put
these doctrines into practice, took great pains and trouble to remember
the lesson given her by her good mother, and it seemed to her that when
the time came for her to put these counsels into execution, that she
would perform her duties so well that her husband would praise her, and
be well pleased with her.
The wedding was performed with all honour and due solemnity, and the
desired night came; and soon after the feast was ended, and the young
people had withdrawn after having taken leave of the newly married
couple,--the mother, cousins, neighbours, and other lady friends led
the bride to the chamber where she was to spend the night with her
husband, where they joyfully divested her of her raiment, and put her to
bed, as was right and proper. Then they wished her good-night, and one
"My dear, may God give you joy and pleasure in your husband, and may you
so live with him as to be for the salvation of both your souls."
Another said: "My dear, God give you such peace and happiness with your
husband, that the heavens may be filled with your works."
After they all had expressed similar wishes, they left. The bride's
mother, who remained the last, questioned her daughter to see whether
she remembered the lesson she had been taught. And the girl, who, as the
proverb goes, did not carry her tongue in her pocket, replied that
she well remembered all that had been told her, and--thank God--had
"Well done," said the mother. "Now I will leave you, and recommend
you to God, and pray that He may give you good luck. Farewell, my dear
"Farewell, my good and wise mother."
As soon as the schoolmistress had finished, the husband who was outside
the door expecting something better, came in. The mother closed the
door, and told him that she hoped he would be gentle with her daughter.
He promised that he would, and as soon as he had bolted the door,
he--who had on nothing on but his doublet,--threw it off, jumped on
the bed, drew as close as he could to his bride, and, lance in hand,
prepared to give battle.
But when he approached the barrier where the skirmish was to take place,
the girl laid hold of his lance, which was as straight and stiff as a
cowkeeper's horn, and when she felt how hard and big it was, she was
very frightened, and began to cry aloud, and said that her shield was
not strong enough to receive and bear the blows of such a huge weapon.
Do all he would, the husband could not persuade her to joust with
him, and this bickering lasted all night, without his being able to do
anything, which much displeased our bridegroom. Nevertheless, he was
patient, hoping to make up for lost time the next night, but it was
the same as the first night, and so was the third, and so on up to the
fifteenth, matters remaining just as I have told you.
When fifteen days had passed since the young couple had been married,
and they had still not come together, the mother came to visit her
pupil, and after a thousand questions, spoke to the girl of her husband,
and asked what sort of man he was, and whether he did his duty well? And
the girl said that he was a nice, young man, quiet and peaceable.
"But," said the mother; "does he do what he ought to do?"
"Yes," said the girl, "but-----"
"But _what?_" said the mother. "You are keeping something back I am
sure. Tell me at once, and conceal nothing; for I must know now. Is he a
man capable of performing his marital duties in the way I taught you?"
The poor girl, being thus pressed, was obliged to own that he had not
yet done the business, but she did not say that she was the cause of the
delay, and that she had always refused the combat.
When her mother heard this sad news, God knows what a disturbance she
made, swearing by all her gods that she would soon find a remedy for
that, for she was well acquainted with the judge of Rouen, who was her
friend, and would favour her cause.
"The marriage must be annulled," she said, "and I have no doubt that I
shall be able to find out the way, and you may be sure, my child, that
before two days are over you will be divorced and married to another man
who will not let you rest in peace all that time. You leave the matter
The good woman, half beside herself, went and related her wrong to her
husband, the father of the girl, and told him that they had lost their
daughter, and adducing many reasons why the marriage should be annulled.
She pleaded her cause so well that her husband took her side, and was
content that the bridegroom, (who knew no reason why a complaint should
be lodged against him) should be cited before the Judge. But, at any
rate, he was personally summoned to appear before the Judge, at his
wife's demand, to show cause why he should not leave her, and permit her
to marry again, or explain the reasons why, in so many days that he had
lived with her, he had not demonstrated that he was a man, and performed
the duties that a husband should.
When the day came, the parties presented themselves at the proper time
and place, and they were called upon to state their case. The mother of
the bride began to plead her daughter's cause, and God knows the laws
concerning marriage which she quoted, none of which, she maintained,
had her son-in-law fulfilled; therefore she demanded that he should be
divorced from her daughter at once without any more ado.
The young man was much astonished to find himself thus attacked, but
lost no time in replying to the allegations of his adversary, and
quietly stated his case, and related how his wife had always refused to
allow him to perform his marital duties.
The mother, when she heard this reply, was more angry than ever, and
would hardly believe it, and asked her daughter if that was true which
her husband had said?
"Yes, truly, mother," she replied.
"Oh, wretched girl," said her mother, "why did you refuse? Did I not
teach you your lesson many times?"
The poor girl could not reply, so ashamed was she.
"At any rate," said her mother, "I must know the reason why you have
refused. Tell it me at once, or I shall be horrible angry."
The girl was obliged to confess that she had found the lance of the
champion so big that she had not dared to present her shield, fearing
that he would kill her; and so she still felt, and was not re-assured
upon that point, although her mother had told her not be afraid. After
this the mother addressed the Judge, and said:
"Monseigneur, you have heard the confession of my daughter, and the
defence of my son-in-law. I beg of you to give judgment at once."
The judge ordered a bed to be prepared in his house, and the couple to
lie on it together, and commanded the bride to boldly lay hold of the
stick or instrument, and put it where it was ordered to go. When this
judgment was given, the mother said;
"Thank you, my lord; you have well judged. Come along, my child, do what
you should, and take care not to disobey the judge, and put the lance
where it ought to be put."
"I am satisfied," said the daughter, "to put it where it ought to go,
but it may rot there before I will take it out again."
So they left the Court, and went and carried out the sentence
themselves, without the aid of any sergeants. By this means the young
man enjoyed his joust, and was sooner sick of it than she who would not
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